Author: The Real Noose ( AKA Ciara Ginty )
Illustration: Chris Hollis
Breaking news: The Conservatives have confirmed that The UK’s elected Prime Minister has and will continue to be an actual King Edward potato for the rest of his term atop a metal robotic body.
The statement released by the party detailed, at length, that Britain had started “running itself” and did not need an authoritative figure for a “little while”. ‘Real life’ Cameron’s whereabouts are still to be confirmed.
“I hadn’t actually noticed the difference” said Jeffery Standpoint MP of Nonethemptan “I just thought I was still off my tits from the night before every day I was in Westminster. Turns out the guy is a hardened, uncooked root veg. Fair enough.”
This issue leaves us asking, is it fair enough? Has this skin-on oval shaped robot been doing a better job? Probably, maybe. The bigger question is, what is George Osborne?
Please send your ideas in to us as we investigate the possibility of an edible Tory cabinet.